Archive for the 'Welcome to Our Perfectly Imperfect Home' Category
10-23-2007
Welcome to Our Perfectly Imperfect Home
I’ve recently written a few blogs about our special needs journey with Jac, and in doing so, someone commented on how peaceful our journey seems to be. I laughed out loud when I heard this. Anyone who has ever spent more than five minutes at our house or even around us knows the contrary. It’s hard to paint a visual, but if I tried, a few hours in our day might look like this:
- Picking up an entire box of Fruity Pebbles that Jac and Brooke (our 21 month old) have “danced into” the carpet after Jac broke the lock off the pantry for the 10th time that day.
- Every liquid in the refrigerator spilled onto the floor after someone left it unlatched (Yes, we have latches on every door and every place where there is food, drink, or liquids~ to date, no latch can keep Jac out).
- Jac dropping glass picture frames off the upstairs balcony porch onto the rocks below and getting excited as the glass shatters everywhere, (It not only makes a fun loud smashing noise, is looks cool as shards of glass fly everywhere).
- Jac finding the Sharpie marker we thought we had hidden and writing on the couch, the walls, the kitchen tile, and the library books we had not yet returned (hmmm…that will probably be an additional fee)
- Jac getting the detergent off the highest shelf in the laundry room (we thought it was out of his reach) and spilling it all over the game room for he and Brooke to play in. It’s like sand, only it smells better. And Luke, thinking this was a great idea for his dinosaurs to run through, wondered why he himself did not think of it.
- Jac getting on the computer and pushing so many buttons that it locks down and I lose my writing and my recent paper I hadn’t yet turned in for my graduate course in Old Testament.
- Trying to lift Jac’s 80lb body into bed as he resists, chipping my tooth as he battles me. My crooked smile, now imperfect like the rest of me. Two of my fingers permanently damaged after Jac ran from me at a crowded event. Once I caught him, we both fell over, and he laughed thinking it was a fun game, Those two fingers still won’t bend. I was just glad I could still catch him, and that he was okay.
- Jac crying and we don’t know why. He can’t talk, and he can’t explain. Did he fall? Did he have a seizure? Does he feel bad? He can’t tell us…
Now, for many this sounds no different than life with small children and in many ways, it is, but there are a few challenges we face that we haven’t with our other three children. Jac cannot have anything in his room, or on his wall, no furniture, no clothes, nothing in the closet. In fact, we had to remove the closet doors since he was breaking them down, and we feared he would hurt himself. He would spend hours rearranging his bed until Brett bolted it to the wall. We are not sure how long it will stay like that; Jac has superpower strength comparable to Samson.
We are in constant worry that Jac will escape. He is a “runner” and looks for every opportunity to do so. He thinks it’s fun, a game, and has no fear of anything that could happen. Our family rule is that all doors have to be latched at all times. Once, when Luke let a friend in to play, he forgot to latch the door and Jac got out. I think we all have a heart condition due to those few minutes of the uncertain. It is a terrifying feeling to say the least. Those fears never calm. We are never free of them. We are on constant watch to try to keep Jac from harming himself. And as we try to clean up one mess, our distraction only provides a new opportunity for Jac’s curious nature, like pulling every book off the bookshelf.
We obviously don’t have nice things in our house. We won’t ever have a china cabinet, porcelain, a working DVD player on most days due to Jac’s obsession with buttons, or any furniture that could not be easily replaced or simply discarded ~ We didn’t really need that coffee table.
Unfortunately, we can’t protect Jac from his seizures, or from his constant curiosity. No, our day would not seem serene, quiet, or clean to most anyone. It is; however, blessed. Jac gives us the greatest gift in perspective. We constantly ask ourselves, “How important is it really?” “Is everyone okay? Then this is okay too.” “Did we really need that crystal glass we got as a wedding gift, or will this Dora cup really serve the same purpose?” Jac has helped us realign or value of things, and reinvest in what matters most~ people. When things get broken, they can be discarded, People are of irreplaceable value.
We hope you will come visit us! Our home is a giant toy box waiting to be explored. It is messy, cluttered, and imperfect, but it is full of love! You are guaranteed to be latched in and bombarded with lots of hugs, a buffet of fruity pebbles, a sand box made of detergent, and probably a glance into the “nudist colony” that occurs on a regular basis when Jac decides his clothes are just too cumbersome. Nonetheless, you are always welcome; we are blessed to live in a home, an imperfect one that is perfect for us, and when you come visit, if Luke lets you in, please latch the door behind you, sometimes he forgets!
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