Archive for the 'Sacred Tears' Category
04-08-2008
Sacred Tears
Recently, I ran into an old friend, one of those friends who connects with your soul in a way that if you don’t see them for a really long time you pick up right where you left off. I was so thankful we had a chance to visit and catch up, when all of the sudden my friend asked me this totally inappropriate personal question… “How are you? Really?” As the tears pooled into my eyes, I chocked back the baseball size lump suddenly choking my throat and desperately tried to use my otherwise conventional response, “fine, good… how are you?” But something else happened, something I did not expect, nor was prepared for, or wanted… tears, unrelenting tears. They leaked out incessantly to no avail even though I desperately attempted to fight them back. No luck, my cheeks were soaked, my eyes blood shot, my nose red, wet and runny. What was happening? Why was my usual somewhat composed nature now being compromised in such a way? Why did they have to ask such a horrible, prying question, “How are you? Really?” As I sat before my friend, the tears flowing incessantly, I apologized profusely. I was more than embarrassed by my emotional impropriety. My friend smiled with a look of reassuring compassion (one of the reasons they are my friend) and handed me a Kleenex. Later, as I processed my tear-fest with my spiritual director, I relayed my frustration with my lack of emotional stability and questioned my psychological state. He led me to an entirely different epiphany of self awareness, one that was far less protective and much more vulnerable. He made me aware of the authentic sacredness of tears. That when we are able to release our true feelings, uninhibited, in the form of tears, that we are intimately aligned with God’s truth. Therein is a vulnerability that cannot be manipulated by the self. It relies on a sacred alignment with the God who also shed tears, even tears of blood. After I left spiritual direction, I returned home to find the following message from my friend. Never be afraid of tears. The so-called civilization has made you very afraid of tears. It has created a kind of guilt in you. When tears come you start feeling embarrassed. You start feeling, “What will others think? I am a man, or woman, and I am crying! It looks so desperate and childish. It should not be so. If you stop those tears…you kill something that was growing inside of you.
”Tears are far more beautiful than anything that you have with you, because tears come from the overflow of your being. Tears are not necessarily of sadness; sometimes they come out of great joy and sometimes they come out of great peace and sometimes they come out of ecstasy of love. In fact they have nothing to do with sadness or happiness. Anything that stirs your heart so much, anything that takes possession of you, anything that is too much, that you cannot contain and it start overflowing – that brings tears. Accept them with great joy, relish them, nourish them, welcome them, and through tears you will know how to pray. Through tears you will know how to see. Tear-filled eyes are capable of seeing truth. Tear-filled eyes are capable of seeing the beauty of life and the benediction of it”. The Diamond Sutra
Someone once told me that tears were once upon a time considered to be sacramental. All the sudden that thought came back to me; Holy, sacred tears- closely aligning us with He who loves us without pause or condition. I then understood that God was giving me a gift, the gift of tears, and the gift of a safe place to share them, through both a friend, and in spiritual companionship. I was not to be ashamed of this sacred water pouring forth from my soul, but rather it was a part of my heart that I was releasing, even sharing. I was experiencing a holy, sacred, alignment with my beloved Lord who also cried, even tears of blood, and my God who also cried out “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Yes, holy tears indeed! May we together share in the sacred gift of tears as we align ourselves closely with God’s authentic truth. 
Blessings, and Holy Kleenex to you! Tammy
P.S. Special thanks to my awesome sisters inTupelo,
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