Archive for the 'Embracing Change' Category
05-30-2008
EMBRACING CHANGE
The one thing that is constant in all of our lives is change. For many of us (me) change is difficult (except when it is to our benefit such as a winning lottery ticket or something I want). I have never been great at embracing change immediately and seeing it for what it is… growth. I tend to wrestle it long before I accept its spiritual benefit. Moving to
Las Vegas was one example of change that I was slow to embrace.
In my state of wrestling, God led me to someone whom He would use to speak to me with holy wisdom. This new relationship would change my life. This godly man, filled with wisdom, knowledge and compassion became my spiritual director. When I went to visit him I would most often be filled with sorrow (still questioning God’s plan in bringing us to the desert). He would always guide me to a higher consciousness and inspire me with the WORD of God. In my spiritual desert, he helped keep me hydrated with holy water through his wise counsel, and through him I saw the reflection of Jesus. Each time I left his office, I had a gift… HOPE. He helped me to see my circumstances in the light of a loving God who is with us in all things, especially in change. Slowly, my perception began to shift and with the help of his holy nuggets of wisdom I began to embrace this change and the desert.
A few months back I found out that this person who had now become a rock in my life, a watering hole in the desert, and a channel I could hear God speak to me with great clarity, was leaving. Change…. GRRRRRR %$&^%#$*. Once again I sunk into grief, this was not a change I would be quick to embrace. Through my unrestrainable tears, my spiritual director allowed me to express my true feelings (sadness). He reminded me that we can’t leap frog our grief (Good Friday) and go straight into acceptance (Resurrection). It is important for all of us to have safe places to experience the entirety of our feelings (both good and bad ones).
Through my reflecting, I thought about how my move (that change I fought) led me to this person who inspired in me a deeper relationship with my Father. Now I was thanking God for the same change I had questioned Him about tirelessly. Through a holy relationship (given to me by God) I found a wellspring of love (in the desert) that would change my life for the better.
My instinct is still to wrestle change (What will I do without him? How will I hear God now?) My new awareness tells me that God will use this to grow me. Instead of wrestling God with ‘why’, I can be thankful for the gift He gave me by sending this person into my life when I was most in need. I can look forward to the ways God will continue to use this holy disciple whom I know will continue to channel God’s hope and light to others as I am also called to do. I am reminded (that although painful at times), God’s love for us co-exists in change. I also realize that I have a choice… I can wrestle or I can trust; I can fight or I can accept; I can continuously question or I can seek God in the newness. I am learning that although tears are a healthy part of the process, that an incredible experience of God is awaiting me as I learn to EMBRACE CHANGE.
In gratitude for Fr. Mark Serna (Please keep him in your holy prayers as he faithfully returns to his monastery in
Rhode Island).
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