Archive for the 'are-you-smarter-than-a-5th-grader' Category
07-31-2009
A Cinderella Story : Reckless Self-Abandon, ‘even when the shoe (or flip flop) doesn’t fit
A Cinderella Story Reckless Self-Abandon, ‘even when the shoe (or flip flop) doesn’t fit’ Many of us have been inspired by Random Acts of Kindness or ARC: Acts of Random Caring. The times someone pays for a stranger’s toll who is in the line behind them in traffic (prior to the days of toll-tags), or lets someone go in front of them at the grocery store, or even cut in front of them while trying to merge into one lane on a busy highway are only a few such examples. There are varying degrees of such acts but one common denominator is the selfless motive of the heart. These big hearts are often demonstrated to us in little bodies. Vegas Summer- you know the song… Hot, Hot, Hot! There are only a few ways to escape the 111 degree heat, thus I promised my own four kids, and several of their friends, that I would take them to the neighborhood pool. It seemed like it took forever just to get eight kids out the door with sunscreen, beach towels, goggles, styrofoam noodles, water bottles, and floaties for the little ones. After Jac took his shoes off a million times I wanted to duct tape them to his feet. Alas, we were finally en route, walking the 100 yards to the pool, when I heard a whince. Looking down, regretting having forgone my duct tape idea, I saw that Jac (typical of a
Not wanting to alarm the group of young’ns as to my pain (or really not to appear wimpy); I proceeded toward the pool as if I was only playfully imitating a popcorn kernel on a hot stove. The children giggled and Brooke said, “Mommy you are so silly!” Yet, there was one set of intuitive eyes in the crowd who wasn’t buying it for one second ~ four year old Tony. He watched me with a knowing cognition that communicated proficiently that I was in no way deluding him. Instantaneously, he took off his miniature sized flip flops, threw them towards my feet and jetted off in a sprint reminiscent of Dash from the Incredibles. As he raced toward the grassy area by the pool I hollered (
As I humbly reflected upon his actions, I realized that Tony (St. Anthony to me), did not pause for one second to see how he would be affected, rather he saw a need and did what he thought would meet that need for another. There is a time, in most adult lives, when we acquiesce to selfless abandon that sacrifices our own needs in order to help another. We all too often succumb to a fearful world-view ensnared with disquietude. We don’t answer the door when a stranger knocks; we don’t let our kids ride their bike in our own neighborhood; we quit stopping to help a stranded person having car trouble. That’s when God uses his little saints, so pure in heart to remind us of our calling. Unlike Prince Charming, this member of a royal priesthood did not return what first belonged to someone else, he offered up that which was his- two times over! We are all called to serve, to live as neighbors willing to sacrifice our own needs for those of another, to humbly surrender our own agendas, schedules or busy-ness in response to God’s invitation to love in the present moment. We are challenged to do so fearlessly, with reckless, relentless self-abandon. The metaphorical slipper, or in this case flip flop, might not have fit, yet the heart of the young prince (prophet) revealed the kind of footsteps I want to follow in. He who is the Prince of Peace, The King of Kings, who wore not a crown of jewels but instead a crown of thorns. Sometimes the littlest feet are the hardest footsteps to fill, let those be the shoes I strive to emulate today.
Personal Note: I can’t thank you enough for your many expressions of encouragement during my newsletter hiatus. Although it appears I have taken a sabbatical, transversely I have been working to complete my masters in Theology (which I hope to conclude this Fall). With that said, I apologize for my lack of correspondence and am hoping you subscribe to the ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ ideology ~ forever we are joined in heart and prayer! All God’s Blessings and Love,Tammy
Spiritual Fitness Calendar Updates: (I hope to see you at one of the upcoming events!) September 24-27: Imago Dei International Conference : Life in the Desert, Thirsting for Oasis www.CALGMConference.org
October 24-25:
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11-05-2008
Picture Perfect
or Beautiful Soul
Last week my oldest child came home from school with a familiar form, ahhh yes, time for school pictures. I have come to both appreciate and rely on the school’s willingness to commemorate my child’s yearly mug shot. I don’t miss the stressful days of taking him to a photographer and jumping up and down frantically waving my hands in the air like circus clown, all in hopes to illicit any morsel of a smile from a disenchanted toddler. It usually ended with a melt down and hysterics until the photo store manager would ask me to calm down. Grrrrrr~ the stress and pressure of having to be PICTURE PERFECT!
As I was filling out the order form (and signing away his college fund), I paused when I got to the box that read, “photo touch-up”. Next to it was a picture of a boy with acne and beside it was the same picture only acne free (If only life were such that we could so easily erase our blemishes). My stomach knotted, “What kind of messages are we sending our youth”? Isn’t it hard enough to feel good about oneself without the added pressure of having to be, act and look perfect? Part of the fun of getting older is looking back at our ridiculous class photos and laughing hysterically. My dad still carries my second grade picture in his wallet. I am sitting next to the Liberty Bell and grinning so big you can’t even see my eyes (okay, I still do that), but the gap in-between my two front teeth looked like Moses parted the red sea a second time. Embarrassing photos are a right of passage, what will we have to threaten our children with on their wedding day slide show? For my generation, it was feathered Farrah wings, spray on Sun-In peroxide that miraculously transformed ones natural hair color to a brassy, fried, burnt orange; frizzy perms, and back-picked big hair with so much hairspray Donald Trump would be proud (that was before the whole less is more concept). Now, as my hair turns gray and my body aches just getting out of bed, I look to these pictures for encouragement reminding me of the many reasons I don’t want to go backwards in time. Bring on the dentures baby~ full steam ahead!
The challenge for all us is that we live in a world where cosmetic companies are constantly deceiving us with convoluted messages equating our value with our looks. And yet, God’s revelation tells us that our worth is based on unconditional, eternal & internal (The Holy Spirit), everlasting love! I have yet to hear that claim from a product. Consumers are continuously fed false promises of miracle crèmes to cover up our flaws. Once I received a product called ‘disaster cream’ as a gift (not really sure how to take that, ummmm thank you????). We are bombarded by retailers telling (SELLING) us the latest and greatest new thing to make us look and feel better. That, however, is not what Jesus tells us. He invites us to walk with Him in our not so perfect self. He does not give us false promises of a ‘perfect’ life, or body, but He does promise He will not abandon us on our imperfect journey.
I think Jesus would want me to care less about a pedicure and more about washing my neighbors feet; He would want me to celebrate my baby tattoos (a.k.a. stretch-marks) and pray for the woman struggling with infertility (who would give anything for those holy markings). He would want me to spend less time piercing my body and spend more time with He who was pierced for me, and with His body, my neighbor. He would hope that I would care less about a bad haircut and more about my neighbor who is losing his in chemotherapy (suddenly hair seems very inconsequential). He would want me to forget enhancement surgeries and care more about enhancing my friend’s spirit after her mastectomy (further reminding us how unimportant ‘perfect’ really is).
Jesus’ disciples first recognized Him after His resurrection, not by His silky smooth ‘herbal essence conditioned’ hair glistening with radiant shimmer in the Galilean sunlight (not so much). Rather, they recognized Him by his wounds. Our scars tell our stories. My 6’3 husband has a scar on his chin from ….wait for it - a tricycle incident. It makes me smile every time I visualize this now 200+ muscular frame~ on a tricycle! That scar is one of many beautiful things about him.
I believe Jesus wants us to celebrate freckles, wrinkles, crooked smiles, braces, blemishes, and stretch-marks, all of which become our tattoos of life. Beauty is not contained in an outer garment, but rather is an expression of ones heart. “The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7). The great creator formed us perfectly imperfect, formed in His perfect image and likeness. The master potter molded each of us in a unique and extra-ordinary way- His way! God does not wish for us to be ‘picture perfect’, but rather, He calls us to be BEAUTIFUL SOULS.
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05-30-2008
Spiritually Fit Guys
This One’s for the Guys
I have the privilege of spending the majority of my time in the presence of males. I married one, have three little ones (actually one a little taller than me), I have a dad, a father-in-law, a brother in Christ, and some of the bestest friends of the male persuasion. I also have a mail- man, no wait… she if female. Anyway, the men in my life have led me to believe that they could use some help from time to time attempting to understand the women in their life. If you have ever sought to comprehend the female mind only to continue coming up blank; this message might help you…
10 Helpful Hints for my Male Friends~
- Girls like cards with messages written from you on them, not just the creative designer at Hall-mark (who is probably a girl). The only part we really read is what you write in your own handwriting so spend some time there (it will be to your benefit).
- Don’t ever, ever, ever, never, ever comment on our weight, not if we gain, not if we lose. If you tell us we look good because we lost weight then when we gain it back we remember it as you saying we are a fat, ugly, unattractive, humongous, ginormous, overstuffed cow. That is how it is translated into our brain whenever you comment on our weight loss- so just zip it. Seriously, we already know how our jeans fit- we don’t need your help with this one. Memorize this phrase and marital bliss just might be in your future “You are perfect exactly the way you are!”
- Don’t be frustrated because we don’t have the same interests as you. If we liked watching sports, playing golf, hunting, and spitting we would be called… a guy.
- Don’t say with negativity that we are not the same woman you married; If we were still that girl we would have ceased growing. Woman are constantly changing, that is part of the excitement for you – you get to be with a new woman every day.
- Don’t comment when we change our hair other than “It looks great!” If we want it straight, or curly, black, brown, red, blonde, ash, cinnamon, strawberry, or streaked go with it. We will change it soon anyway so it’s best to keep it to yourself. If you say you hate it chances are we will keep it that way longer. See rule # 2 for more information. Hint ~ You are perfect exactly….
- Cereal is a food-group with essential vitamins and minerals, thus when we serve it to you for breakfast and dinner it is because we love you and want you to reap the amazing heart healthy benefits.
- We are not good at relaxing because you are usually doing it for the both of us.
- If you are looking for romance, NASCAR re-runs is not the direct path.
- PMS is a serious syndrome with dangerous side effects (like irrational, tearful, sometimes violent outbursts). Don’t argue with us on this one until you can experience it for yourself. Simply medicate us with chocolate and migrate to another room, any one other than the one we are in is fine.
- Girl’s night out does not constitute picking up your dry cleaning with a girlfriend. Make sure you encourage us to schedule regular play dates with our female counterparts. We come home nicer to you!
Clearly, the list is much longer, but due to short-term memory and the fact that your game is about to start, I will leave you with the 10 nuggets above to further enhance your relationships with the important females in your life. Good luck!
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05-30-2008
Spiritually Fit Bodies
Spiritually Fit Bodies 
“I urge you therefore, brother, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:1-2 I was on a flight after an incredibly soul-filling, and emotionally exhausting weekend retreat. The weight of my eyelids lured me into the fantasy of anticipated sleep (just a few more hours!). I got out a book that my friend had just given me called Healing Prayer, this would be the perfect meditative opportunity before I reclaimed my bed. I was asked to move to a different seat on the plane to accommodate a boyfriend and girlfriend who wanted to sit together. This left me on an aisle seat with the two seats to my right available. Just then two beautiful girls approached and made their way to the seats beside me. Part of growing older has allowed me the gift of appreciating everyone’s gifts, even the gift of physical beauty. I don’t see it as intimidating, I just see it as someone having been kissed by the pretty gene, so I was more than happy to make room for my attractive sisters. I soon realized I was invisible to them as they talked incessantly on-top of one another. I was not trying to eavesdrop, but my ADD wrestled between Healing Prayer and the girl’s chatter. I soon longed for earplugs or my ipod. The talk went from their spray tans, to hair extentions,to all the augmentations they have had and are going to tweak, to their many relationships, bed partners, and ultimately revealing their profession of modeling (revealing being a key word). The “F” bomb was flying like pop corn Kernels on a hot stove. I kept trying to block it out and focus on my book, it was no use. I shut the book and tried to fall asleep. The volume of their conversation escalated with each sexual indiscretion they upped each other with. They applauded one another for their financial success and spoke of the challenge in deciding how to spend their fortunes. I confess, the overtired part of me went into judgment mode and I was now agitated even at the couple who made me move in the first place, but another part of me, a more sensitive spiritual one, grieved. I wondered how a person gets to such a place where their life is completely based on their external existence. Their livelihood revolved around their body and so did their extracurricular activities. Suddenly, I had a whole new concept for ‘clothing the naked’. I thought of my own little girl and how my deepest desire is to nurture her soul and shepherd her heart. I hope to teach her the value of her body as God’s holy temple, the place that houses her soul, the place where the Holy Spirit lives and dwells. I wanted to desperately take these girls back to a time when they were little and re-teach them the value of their worth, a worth that is not based on their temporal body, but rather their eternal one.
With each “F” bomb, and each sexual conquest recounted, I became more sorrowful. I thought about my friend who works for an outreach center. She had recently shed tears over her despondency that the shelters funding had been cut. She worried this would greatly compromise the ability to feed the homeless in the community. How is it that money can be so misappropriated that we are feeding ego’s and starving those who walk hungry among us? We financially reinforce a maligned image of the body while ignoring the needs of our poor (our brothers and sisters). I no longer was annoyed, or offended; I was just heartbroken. I am not condemning or pretending to be more pious than I am. I am; however, realizing my own iniquities and responsibilities in regard to my need to refocus my priorities. I want to take my eyes off the superficial, the expendable, and re-align with that which is everlasting. I am reminded that the homeless woman does not ache for a manicure, but whose stomach growls for some broth. The homeless man is not concerned if his legs look white in shorts, but he does have to ponder where he will rest his head each night. The homeless children don’t care if they wear Nike or Reebok, but they do appreciate any kind of shoes to help protect their feet during inclement weather. The homeless family does not care if their curtains match their furniture; they are just thankful for a roof over their head during a rainstorm.
I grieve because I am guilty of contributing to this paradox every time I take my eyes off the everlasting. For today, I pray that I am able to continually be more aware of ways I can let go of that which is temporal (even my body), and pay better attention to those in need. I don’t want to teach my children to worship a homeless man on Sunday, and then contradict that by driving right by him on Monday. May today be a day of gratitude for our bodies, by which we can use to build His kingdom among us- by loving one another, by feeding the hungry, clothing the naked and focusing on a bigger body, The Body of Christ. Together in union with Him, Tammy
Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master. Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher. Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer. Had no army, yet kings feared Him. He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world. He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him. He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today. We are honored to serve such a Leader who loves us so much.
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04-08-2008
YMCA Freaks ~ No April Foolin’
Dear Spiritually Fit Fun Fools,
Happy April~ No Foolin’ YMCA Freaks
Speaking of fun foolishness - can you remember a song that you listened to over and over in your youth that just made you feel good? I will date myself here, but for me, my first goose bumps to music arrived during the prelude to the song YMCA. I wonder if The Village People had any notion of the legacy they were creating?
Recently, as I was running in the desert mountains, the familiar beat came to life through my walk-man head phones as did the instantaneous smile associated with it. The nostalgic flash back brought me front and center to my jr. high gym were girls were neatly arranged on one side, and boys assembled on the opposite, except during one song – YMCA. It was during that song that all pretension of being cool faded away (at least for a moment), inhibitions were cast aside as people crowded onto the dance floor throwing their hands up in the air and wildly spelling out Y, M, C and A with their arm limbs flailing overhead. It was electrophying. Talk about fun foolishness!
Although I had sung along with the words many times, I don’t know that I ever really listened to them until my run. This time, new images immediately emerged, the initials Y.M.C.A. – Yahweh Messiah Christ Abba
I began to change the words as I sang along making it a prayer… (See below for full prayer version by a delirous runner). So next time you hear YMCA whether you think of dancing at a wedding, in jr. high, or a runner’s prayer, I hope you smile and know you are loved by YMCA, Yahweh, the Messiah, Christ, Abba (the Father).
YMCA- by the Village People – edited by Tammy Amosson for Spiritual Fitness News 08
Young (All) man, (People) there’s no need to feel down.
I said, young man, (All God’s children) pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, (My Child) ’cause you’re in a new town
There’s no need to be unhappy.Young man, (My beloved) there’s a place you can go.(to Me)
I said, young man, (precious) when you’re short on your dough.
You can stay there, and I’m sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time. (I’m with you always)
It’s fun to (stay with the YMCA , (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba)
It’s fun to stay with the YMCA. (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba)
They have everything for (All) to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the through the YMCA (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba)
It’s fun to stay with the y-m-c-a.
It’s fun to stay with the y-m-c-a.
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal, (reconciliation, break bread)
You can do what about you feel … (talk about feelings in community)
My beloeved are you listening to me? (Be still and listen)
I said, My Child what do you want to be?
I said, loved one you can make real your dreams.
But you got to know this one thing! (I love you)
No man does it all by himself. (We need each other)
I said, precious child, put your pride on the shelf, (ask for help, let go of ego)
And just go there, to the y.m.c.a. (Come to me all who are weary, I will give you rest)
I’m sure they can help you today. (Find me with skin in those around you, call for help today)
It’s fun to stay with the y-m-c-a. (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba)
It’s fun to stay with the y-m-c-a. (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba)
They have everything for you men to enjoy, ( I will give you all that you need)
You can hang out with all my children (You are NOT alone)
It’s fun to stay at the y-m-c-a. (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba)
It’s fun to stay at the y-m-c-a. (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba)
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal, (wash feet, share in community)
You can do what about you feel … (Follow your heart, don’t judge)
My love, I was once in your shoes. ( I go before you always)
I said, I was down and out with the blues. ( I suffered too, I was human, I was tempted)
I felt no man cared if I were alive. (I too felt persecuted, betrayed, and abandoned)
I felt the whole world was so tight … ( I felt like I did not belong, I was suffocating)
That’s when someone came up to me, ( I will send you an advocate, a helpmate, another soul to help you)
And said, my brother, take a walk up the street. (Walk with me, I will take you by the hand and guide you, we weren’t meant to do this alone)
There’s a place there called the y.m.c.a. (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba)
They can start you back on your way. (I make all things new)
It’s fun to stay with the y-m-c-a. (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba)
It’s fun to stay with the y-m-c-a. (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba)
They have everything for you men to enjoy, (Once you are with me you will have everything you need, you will hunger no more)
You can hang out with all the family… (WE are all connected, one family- many parts, one body in Christ)
Y-m-c-a … you’ll find it at the y-m-c-a. (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba)
Me beloved, my child there’s no need to feel down.
My precious, my love, , get yourself off the ground.
Y-m-c-a … you’ll find it at the y-m-c-a. (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba)
Me beloved, my child re you listening to me? ( I am calling you)
My precious, my love, do you want to be free? (I am the light and love)
Y-m-c-a … just go to the y-m-c-a. (Yahweh, Messiah, Christ, Abba) (I am the way, the truth and the life)
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02-27-2008
Expand Your Circle
This weekend, I had the privilege to facilitate a women’s day of spiritual renewal. I was the one blessed as these beautiful souls shared their heart with one another. The love in the room overflowed, as did some sacramental tears. Women need each other! I can imagine the sacred exchange between Mary and Elizabeth greeting one another, both with baby in womb, “You too!” “I Know - me too!” As we share our stories, our brokenness, our hungers, our joys and sorrows; we are united in an intimate relational circle of love. These relationships go beyond the surface, or superficial, and ignite the indwelling of the spirit connecting us all. We need our sisters! Don’t get me wrong, we love you guys too, it’s not an ‘either’ / ‘or’, but rather a ‘both / and’. We just need our girl time, our sisters who cry with us! Males – if you have a significant female in your life – encourage her to fellowship with other women. It might be bunko, prayer group, bible study, a moms group, coffee, a retreat, or dinner with the girls. Please don’t make her feel guilty about it. Tell her to go~ encourage her! We are nicer to you when we get our girl fixes! The women in my life have picked me up and dusted me off. They have loved me when I felt unlovable. They have accepted me with all my imperfections and have reflected back to me the sacred gift of unconditional love. I am so thankful for my girls! We need to pass this message of sacred sisterhood on to our youth. When women talk about female friendships that are negative, hurtful, judgmental, or gossipy- then it’s time to Expand Your Circle! Sacred relationships should be enriching, nourishing, energizing and life-giving! They should build up, not tear down. I’m so thankful for my girls and the sacred sisterhood God has blessed us with! I love you! Your Sister in Christ, TammyYouTube Clip: Expand Your Circle by Tammy Amossonhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8DzLntgUNQ
YouTube Clip: Dr. Randy Pausch: A must see on – The most important of life’s lessons!http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=ithct48cqw
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02-27-2008
Radical LOVE
RADICAL LOVE
Revisiting a year ago, I was definitely in a Valley not a Peak, and I’m not just talking about where I reside. I have learned over time we won’t stay stuck in either place, but I admit I like the peaks much better. I remember lying on the floor in the fetal position, unrelenting tears, fears and questions abounding about my identity. I had been challenged by members of a local Church accusing me that I was not a good Catholic because of my prayer practices. My entire vocation had been devoted to ministry in the Church so I felt raped of my identity. If I wasn’t a good Catholic ~ who was I? This question would both haunt and ignite my spiritual journey. I began to seek answers. With the help of my spiritual director, trusted priests, and holy people (I know God hand picked for me); I began to grow in my understanding of who I am. I was not a good little Catholic girl at all. In fact, I am much more. I am a child of The Father of the universe; I am part of a larger community than I even realized; a community that includes, Jews, Muslims, Buddhist and Atheists. I am the beloved daughter of a God who loves all His children. I am Daddy’s lil’ girl; daughter of the King of Kings; and a member of a humongous body of believers (& non-believers)! As my hurt began to melt and immobilize me less, my heart began to expand (like the Grinch after reconciliation), and I saw a bigger world than I had previously known. It was as if the shackles came off my eyes; I now saw with global sight. As my vision grew, so did my questions. “Lord, how can we live as your children if we keep hurting each other?” His gentle whisper echoed throughout my being… “Love, Radical Love, Choose forgiveness over resentment; choose compassion over judgment; choose humility over pride; choose kindness over being ‘right’. Love so Radically that some might just persecute you for it!”Last evening at mass, I watched our son Joshua carry the cross up the aisle as an alter server. My heart overflowed. One year ago people thought I might leave the Church and told me they would understand if I had. Today, I sit in my Church as a more compassionate, accepting, and loving member. We are broken people, I should know, I have a seat there too. Today, I know whose I am, I know The Great ‘I AM’ and I know what He is calling me to … RADICAL LOVE!
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12-31-1969
Are you smarter than a 5th grader & Do you look like a 6th grader?
The show Are You Smarter Than a 5th grader makes me a little uncomfortable. I can humbly admit that I am rarely, if ever, smarter than a 5th grader. The questions I answer correctly cause me to rejoice as if I just answered the most difficult challenge in Trivial Pursuit.
I do, however, have a harder time believing that I look like a sixth grader. Let me back up. I am honored and privileged as a parent to still be welcomed into the sacred school lunch room by my middle schooler. Mind you, he is in 6th grade, but still some parents would never be allowed to cross through these hormone saturated walls. I, however, am blessed to have a child who still welcomes me, and even sincerely smiles when he sees me. Now granted, the aroma of Taco Bell exuding out of the bags in my hands might still be a factor, but I’ll take what I can get.
On a recent visit to this preteen Disneyland, I decided to be of service to the tablemates where I was invited to sit, so I proceeded to collect trash from those around me and stood up to dispose of it. Soon after I stood up, a voice behind me stung as it growled, “MISS, YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN IMMEDIATELY, YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO BE OUT OF YOUR SEAT!” I was startled and instinctively turned to see where the harsh voice was coming from. As soon as I turned my head, I heard, “Oh, I’m sorry” from one of the school personnel. He, of course, was embarrassed and unsure of what to say, but I couldn’t resist pursuing. “Did you think I was a student?” I questioned in disbelief, still surprised by the accusation. He sheepishly nodded and quickly turned and walked away as quickly as he could without so much as another look in my direction.
This, of course, bothered me on several levels; mostly, the way I was treated as a 6th grader. The tone he took with me was not only inappropriate for my offense, wanting to throw trash away, it was scary. If I,an almost 40 year-old woman, can feel shamed and guilty for standing up to throw away trash, I can only imagine how an actual 6th grader might feel.
One of my soap boxes is the manner and dignity with which we treat every human person, of all ages, and creeds. This includes 6th graders. Our society is always talking about how disrespectful the younger generation is, and yet, I often times see the opposite; how disrespected this generation is. Many adults presuppose and assume that young people are irresponsible, ill-intentioned and disrespectful. Again, I find most of the time quite the contrary; young people are amazing! They are also in great need for adult mentors, role models and advocates. Young people are starving for positive reinforcement and yet, they are continuously fed demoralizing accusations instead. Imposing fear through intimidation does not promote mutual respect; it usually creates disharmony and a lack of desire on the young person’s part to even try. Why bother? They already think the worst of me. Respect is given, not taken. Adults, in the same way, need to earn respect by valuing the very people they serve.
I wonder if such adults even remember why they wanted to work with young people in the first place. Was it the enormous pay scale. I’m guessing not. Adults have a great responsibility to teach and nurture our youth and it starts by respecting and valuing them. It is important for all of us to recommit ourselves to appreciating our youth and the blessings of their energy, their enthusiasm, their willingness to work, to learn and to accept others as they are. These young people become our teachers through such lessons. We, as adults, need to heed such messages. Middle school students are not the less than, they are not the future, they are the present. They are the gift of today.
I have great respect for my own middle school child. I value his opinion, his thoughts, his decisions, his insights, his intelligence, and especially his humor. I treasure our relationship in such a way that if I were to ever talk with him so disrespectfully, I would immediately seek a way to make amends. Thankfully, our relationship is reciprocal. He values me in all the same ways, and we honor one another’s spirits.
Many times, adults that were parented or taught with the weapons of fear, blame, shame, and guilt need to find new tools than the ones they were given. These ineffective methods can be replaced with skills that promote mutual respect. Young people deserve our advocacy, and it will take some humility on the part of adults to promote this.
The bible affirms this sentiment saying, we are to prescribe and teach these things:
“Let no one look down on your youth, but rather in speech, conduct, love faith and purity, show yourself and example of those who believe.” 1 Tim 2:12
Through this experience I realized again what a great respect I have for middle school students. I may not be smarter than a 5th grader, and I may have been mistaken for a 6th grader, but I will take that as a compliment. I really like 6th graders!
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