08-20-2008
Wrestling with the Past, Present and FutureOne week ago today I was sitting at the Piazza in St. Peter’s Square (
Vatican City). Together, with my fellow classmates and professors from the
School of
Ministry at The University of Dallas, and 10,000+ pilgrims from all over the world ~ we awaited the homilist, Pope Benedict XVI.
(1). Before me, erected on the altar of the audience hall, was a massive bronze structure that looked like something from the Medieval period (even though it was completed in 1977). The sculpture depicts the Risen Christ entangled in a sea of web like vines. It looks as though a fierce wind is violently tussling His hair in tornadic wildness. His legs are entombed by wild tree branches attempting to imprison His lower body in a shell of and skull like images. The artist, Pericle Fazzini, was attempting to create an image of the church as she wrestles with the tension between her past, present and future. (2) As I pondered the image before me I felt an intense surge of emotion. I began to contemplate the mysteries of the seen and unseen, the human and divine, despair and hope, falling and rising, suffering and healing, defeat and triumph, death and new life, finite and infinite. I found myself relating to her (church) struggle; the humanness of trying… falling… learning… reconciling… and trying again. As I meditated on these concepts I became painfully aware of a negative emotion that was erupting within. No matter how hard I tried to stuff it, it was of no use, it purged to the surface in all its ugliness… resentment. I had a resentment with her. Over the course of several years I have heard many accounts of people who have been hurt by what I attributed to her insensitivity, and when my brothers and sisters hurt-so do I. The epiphany I had was that in talking about her, I realized I was talking about me. Now I was faced with the accountability that as a member of the same apostolic community Jesus first commissioned Peter, Paul and the rest of the apostles to serve in, I am called in the same way. That means I can’t point fingers, I have to take action. I am part of a family, made up of broken people who are at times capable of hurting one another. And yet, here I was requiring her to be perfect. How could she be? I am a member, thus I just brought imperfection into the mix. This community, body of believers, church family is made up of imperfect humans whose only source of perfection is the God they worship. I realized I can no longer be mad at (resent, or blame) her. (Sheesh this forgiveness stuff is tough!) I am accountable to be the healing I seek by way of word, action and deed. If I hunger for peace, I have to be willing to sacrifice for justice. If I desire healing, I have to be vulnerable to suffering. If I know someone with a wound, I am called to seek reconciliation. I am not a helpless, voiceless member of a family imprisoned by frustration. Rather, I am a present day apostle called to follow in the footsteps of my Father who says, “Come, follow me, do as I have shown you, I go before you always.” Sometimes I forget that the family I belong to gets to be imperfect, God allows us that, even forgives us, even though He Himself is perfect. Slowly my resentment began to dissipate and my heart filled with compassion. I became infused with hope and an overwhelming desire to serve in whatever way I am needed. We are currently living in an exciting time. The church today has more historical, archeological, scriptural and theological knowledge than ever before. She is currently equipping her members, both lay and ordained, in ways inconceivable to the early church. She is continuously learning from the past, seeking to meet the concerns of the present, and forever planting seeds of faith for a promised future. Wrestling with tensions of the past, present and future is healthy insomuch as it keeps us seeking navigation from the one who can help us keep the course - the Holy Spirit. Thus, it is with great enthusiasm (with the spirit) and zeal that we can continue the work of He who is perfect love. He who was, is and always will be; The great I AM, who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He, who is the True Presence, who calls us in continuation of His apostolic commissioning to love and serve our neighbor and the One who is the constant of the past, present and future! I hope you will be able to take advantage of the incredible opportunity to study in
Rome. I highly recommend the program at the
School of
Ministry (credit, audit, or just attendee options). To find out more information go to: http://www.udallas.edu/ministry/summerinstitute.cfm All God’s blessings, Together in Him, Tammy
——————–(1) Background information on Papal Audience :
Brian Schmisek, Ph.D, and
John Norris Ph.D ; http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/audiences/index.htm.(2) Reference information on Fazzini :
Brian Schmisek, Ph.D, and
John Norris Ph.D Archivio della scuola Romana: Arte a Roma tra le due guerre, Pericle Fazzini, http://www.scuolaroman.it/artisit/fazzini.htmP.S. For those of you who have a hurt with her (us), I am so sorry. I hope in time you will be open to forgive her (us). “For they (we) know not what they do.” We do love you, in our imperfect, sometimes hurtful way. We are truly sorry.
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